JustMattHenry.com: gossip, life and humor

so my genius boss likes to make us dress up for various themed nights and one of those will be this monday night for our Showtunes and Movie Musical Sing-a-long Halloween party and while i was sick in bed, my boss and his little co-conspirator alex came up with our costume theme as the Wizard of Oz. i suppose it’s my own fault for calling out sick on monday and was unable to offer my input.

so when i got a call this morning from Alex saying they were at the costume shop and if there were any restrictions i might have (i should have said “lots”) to let them know. i said that since i’m coming straight from class my costume would have to be something i can put on quickly at the bar once i’m there and jump in ready to make drinks. so i get to work this evening to discover that i’ve been cast as the cowardly lion. this costume requires me to wear a felt head-to-toe jumpsuit and hood.

i sweat. a lot. very easily.

my costumes usually consist of something that shows a lot of skin. like my shirtless zoro. or my slutty football player. i had to nix this lion thing in the bud.

so i traded with Patty, my poor barback that evening, who was cast as Dorothy…but not just any dorothy. they got her one of those slutty lingerie “dorothy” costumes and well, that’s just not patty at all and she didn’t really want to wear it, so i said, patty, if that thing fits me, we can switch. and sure enough, i’m, apparently, a women’s size 12. and i fill that blouse out pretty well, my cups runneth over. no need to stuff.