holy shit it’s real
i remember the first time i ever heard about the colonial parkway killer. the colonial parkway is a scenic drive along the james river from james town, through williamsburg and ends in yorktown. the trifecta of colonial vacation spots: every childs nightmare.
anyway, i was driving with my friend allen (skipping class of course) down to yorktown beach for the day and he, being an upper classman, and me being a gullible, lowly sophomore (with a car). on the way down the parkway, he mentioned the parkway killer. the killer, you see, often posed as a cop and stopped cars along the parkway and then murdered them. so the rule was, do NOT, under any circumstances, stop for a cop along the parkway.
and everytime i would drive down the colonial parkway with legally fawn or mikey or amy or whomever, i would tell the tale of the colonial parkway killer and that they shouldn’t be alarmed if a cop pulls behind us, lights flashing and i floor it and get the fuck outta there….cause i don’t want to be killed.
and i thought this all just an urban legend until…
i was at the at gym today watching E! while i was on my little elliptical machine and they were doing a True Hollywood Story on serial killers. now, how the got an unnamed serial killer from the tidewater area of virginia linked to hollywood, i have no fuckin’ idea…BUT, it all sounded eerily familiar and i was like, hold up, wait a minute! could it be…it can’t! no, wait, is it? oh my god…
and so i googled it and found this.
and this.
i swear, i will never stop along the colonial parkway for ANYBODY be it cop or otherwise.
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