JustMattHenry.com: gossip, life and humor

i guess it’s time to finish the chicago recap. since i’m sitting here watching melanie oudin take out her fourth russian in a row to reach the quarters of the US open. i know this was on earlier today, but i missed it and here she is now at match point! this is so great for american tennis! i mean, serena and venus obviously, but to have such a young up and comer taking the open by storm. it’s really exciting.

so…back to chicago…

Married with Children, anyone? so after the rehearsal dinner, i decided to take mikey to boystown since he’s never been to chicago. i think we hit minibar and sidetracks which were… similar to jrs and other bars in dc. so we didn’t stay long. instead we called it a night as i wanted to do some more sight seeing in the morning.

when we got up super early and headed out in the sunny chicago morning, we walked, once again, down through millenium park. then decided to go to the top of the Sears (Willis) tower. cause we had time, so we thought why not?

on the walk over…

more bars in more places.

i’m really fascinated with tall buildings as we don’t really have any in dc.

one of the buildings in this next shot featured prominently in Adventures in Babysitting. a great movie starring oscar nominee elizabeth shue. ps…elizabeth, what the hell are you doing these days?

for the rice queens…

ok, let’s talk about this shithole:

ok, like, i get that this is a tourist trap. i get it. i understand. so we get there and the line to get in seems likes it’s moving really quickly but really that’s a bunch of bullshit. because what they do is get everyone inside the building really quickly making you think like, oh , this isn’t going to be a big deal.

lies. lies, i tell you. really, they just bring you down to some basement, force you to stand in line for i don’t know how long, force you to take some fake ass pictures in front of a green screen so you get some damn souvenir photo of you overlooking the chicago skyline. red flag that this is shit show.

so once you get your “photo” then you get your ticket to go upstairs…except really, they just heard you into another line for some stank ass movie and i’m like i don’t want to watch the movie. i just want to go up to the top, look around, and leave. i’m on a tight schedule. i have a wedding to go to in 2.5.

but i get it. i understand the whole staggering of times and crowd control and all that. but wouldn’t it be better to assign a time to come back? like, oh, my ticket is for 11:30 so i can come back and immediately go upstairs. every other amusement park/tourist trap does this. hell, even monticello does this. so we bail. i don’t have time.

mikey, what do you think about this?

screw the willis tower.

anyway, so we get to the church early as legally fawn asked me to hand out programs to guests as they enter and i was instructed to make sure everyone got one as legally fawn worked really hard on these. if it meant tackling people and shoving it down their throats, so be it.

bridesmaid huddle:

needless to say, i got a sneak preview of the beautiful bride who did indeed looked amazing!!!! legally fawn and i have seen each other at our worsts…recently in fact:

but we were drunk so that doesn’t count. it was hot, we were sweaty and we were climbing on a statue of some colonial guy…how pretty can you be at 2 in the morning?

but, once the ceremony ended…oh and ps…the best part of the ceremony was that there was a girl across the aisle from us who looked just like jennifer espisito (from Samantha Who…and who i adore) and mikey leans over to me and says “who invited jennifer espisito?’” and then develops a creepy/intense obsession with her over the course of the evening. she’ll be mentioned again later…

so once the ceremony ended i had to run back out to the front door of the church to hand out bubbles for everyone to blow as the bride and groom leave the church. everyone was like, what is this? and i was like, oh, it’s vodka. drink up.

i did manage to get this shot of the newlyweds while also telling some homeless dude begging for cash to move it along.

and now we’re at the reception held at the Peninsula Hotel in downtown chicago. of course, because i’m early everywhere, we still had a few minutes to kill before cocktail (and more importantly appetizer) hour, mikey and i ventured over to michigan ave to do some shopping (so gay) and we go to Saks and i was wearing this…

and two things happened: one, everyone thought we worked there. and two, an actual employee told me that my outfit was really well put together. which made my day because i wasn’t sure about the vest.

and while i always assume that i’m the most attractive person wherever i go, not today:

again. gorgeous.

montage!!!!!!!

ps…can i also say how amazing eliza looked????? she’s the one who’s not the bride.

this next photo was taken by the very beautiful and amazing Salima (also a bridesmaid) who i unfortunately don’t have a picture of, but who i met years ago visiting LA and who is obviously a dear dear friend of legally fawn and therefor also of mine and mikey’s….and she took this great photo of us which we will use for our christmas cards.

it’s amazing how we managed to not look as drunk as we were.

at one point during the reception Legally Fawn’s mom (aka Legally Mom) pulled me aside and said that she heard Simon Cowell was in the bar upstairs…and i was like, BYE. but i couldn’t find him. and i LOOKED. but other people said they had seen him, so i’m like, unfair, but what ever.

the hotel:

another drunk shot:

and finally, as legally fawn and legally husband escaped to the comfort of their wedding night, mikey and i walked back to the hotel where i ordered a pizza and mikey passed out. so i ate half a pizza and watched Seven alone in the dark. which i’ve done before, so no big deal. on the way i got this shot (which a night/color shot of the first picture from Part one)

and good night.

WAIT! so, mikey’s obsession with the woman who looked like jennifer espisito. mikey was, of course, pointing at her and talking about her to anyone that would listen and of course jennifer espisito knew mikey was doing this….so on our way out, we pass by her and mikey gently touches her shoulder and says “have a very good night”. and like, could you possibly be more creepy? you’ve been staring at her all night, she KNOWS you’ve been staring her, and then you leave her with that rape-y farewell? i wouldn’t be surprised if she slept with a butcher knife under her pillow that night.

anyway…

have a very good night.