whip it
i haven’t had cool whip in such a long time. i used to eat it by the spoonful or dip my banana in it. no, not that banana. cool whip always seems to whip out some hard core advertising around the fourth of july and this year is no different. lately they’ve been airing this commercial that walks you, step by step, to creating the most white-trashiest cake ever. like, ever. so, i made it.
i received a sign from the powers that be when i walked into the harris teeter yesterday for my weekly grocery run and strawberries were two for one! so i knew, i just knew, that i was destined to make this dessert. i didn’t exactly follow any kind of recipe. i just memorized the commercial, eye-balling measurements and such. and it went like this.
mash some strawberries in a large mixing bowl. which is not as easy as it sounds. i feel like i was mashing them all afternoon and then gave up, so i have sort-of-mashed strawberries which is fine. i was later informed that sugar can help break down the strawberries so it’s easier to mash, but i didn’t think of that.
then you add one can of condensed milk, which looks and smells like baby formula and i almost threw up a little in my mouth. i was later informed that there is sweetened or unsweetened and i’m not sure if that makes a difference in the recipe. they didn’t specify in the commercial so i’m assuming that unsweetened is fine.
and then you stir that up a bit. then the commercial says to add a quarter cup of lemon juice, but i forgot to buy them so i skipped that step. eh. it will be fine.
then according to the commercial you fold in two heaping scoops of cool whip and mix and fold until you basically get what looks like melted strawberry soft serve.
next, you line a loaf pan (i didn’t know what that was so, i had to buy one) with tin foil, and pour the mixture in and let it settle.
and then things get a little weird.
in the commerical they say to crush up some oreos, mix with a drizzle of melted butter and sprinkle on top. sort of forming a crust of sorts…but it just looks like they took the chocolate and crushed that up. but since i like to add my own little twist to things, i opted to crush whole double stuff oreos because one, the only way i know how to get the icing off an oreo is to scrape it with my teeth and i thought that to be a bit unsanitary if i did that then crushed the chocolate parts and sprinkled them on top of my dish. so i thought it might be best to just use the whole oreo. i’m practically rachel ray.
so then you cover with more tin foil and put it in the freezer behind your buffalo chicken strips and frozen pork chops…
…until….after dinner….when you….
turn it upside down on a serving platter (which to me was a dinner plate) and carefully cover it with another layer of cool whip and more sliced strawberries. and here is the final result. it’s not quite as tidy as i would have liked, but it was melting fast so we kind of just threw the strawberries on there haphazardly.
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