JustMattHenry.com: gossip, life and humor

totally loathing the remaining contestants on Project Runway and Bravo is like “vote now for your fan favorite!” and i’m like, uh, i don’t think there ever was one.  seriously.  maybe Leanne, but she’s so quiet.  i think she’ll win.  this season’s been so lackluster.

but completely loving Top Model this season because i think Tyra has just accepted that she is bat-shit crazy and is just letting the looney fly this cycle.  i mean, already there’s been Tyra pretending to be a robot,Tyra pretending to be snow white, a tranny, racism, and fake boobs…oh and the first three contestants voted off have all been black…which is kind of weird weird for Tyra.  i love Samantha and Lauren Brie but i think Elina will win.

i’m kind of over what’s playing in theaters right now.  not that i’ve seen any of it and i know that september is a usual dumping ground for lame movies that don’t fit in during the holiday/oscar season, or the spring/summer blockbuster season so they get tossed into the post summer or post holiday/oscar season and it’s all so overwhelming because nothing looks good and it all just means that oscar season is right around the corner which is basically like birth of the baby jesus for me.

i am in love with Gossip Girl and Greek so far in their new seasons.  ugh. i’m trying to find clips of these shows, but fuckin’ ABCfamily is all screwed up and Gossip Girl doesn’t have the clip i want on youtube.

i kind of hate work.  but no specific reason other than it’s work.

i love the pooch cause she’s finally bathed and groomed and oh so gorgeous AND she did not kill any other dogs while waiting for me over at the groomers.  you see, they put dogs waiting to be groomed in the day care facility that houses all the small, yappy, bitchy dogs which is fine and i always tell them that delia tends to hate smaller dogs (or any dog really) so that if she becomes a problem please feel free to separate her.  but everytime i come back to pick her up i always get an A+ report card for her behavior saying that she just hung around quietly and played and waited for my return and i’m like WHAT THE FUCK DOG?  WHY YOU GOTTA BE A BIG PAIN IN THE ASS AROUND OTHER DOGS WHEN I’M AROUND BUT WHEN I’M NOT AROUND YOU’RE ALL FUCKIN’ ANGELIC AND SWEET?

and she looks at me as if to say, well…cuz ur around & i luv u. and i’m pretty sure delia thinks in text message text.

which reminds me of two things:

one, i got this in an email from someone.  i think my mom.

A PET’S TEN COMMANDMENTS………

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don’t be angry with me for long and don’t lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don’t understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can’t bear to watch. Don’t make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

and i’m reading this book called The Art of Racing in the Rain and it’s a story about a family told from the perspective of the family dog, who is smart and articulate and furious that dogs were denied opposable thumbs.  it’s super sad and i’ll read in the afternoon and come to a sad part and find that lonely tear down my cheek.  but this dog Enzo believes he is smart and while able think, unable to articulate those thoughts, because he watches a lot of tv and he believes that in his next life he will return to earth as a man and believes that all dogs, if they are ready, will be reincarnated as men.

which got me thinking.

delia is already supersmart AND she watches a lot of tv.  a lot.  so i’m wondering now what kind of person she’ll be when she comes back in her next life, because she is more than ready to come back as a human.   i’m thinking if she’s not an outright butch dyke with jet black hair then maybe she’ll be like a bit of Darlene Conner, a splash of a young Jodi Foster and perhaps a bit of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction as she really won’t be ignored.